


A Year and a Day

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Kane (Band), Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-24
Updated: 2011-04-17
Packaged: 2018-09-03 00:18:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8689216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Jared meets Jensen, his physical therapist at Karaoke night at Kane's and they fall for each other, but things don't sail so smoothly.  Two years later they are once again at Kane's for Karaoke night. Can they put their relationship back together?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** This obviously came to me while listening to oldies on my ipod. The songs by NRBQ that inspired it are, Ridin in My Car, Accentuate the Positive, Me and the Boys. Not used in the story, but part of the mood of it in my mind was also, Howard Johnson's Got His Ho-Jo Workin, and RC Cola and a Moon Pie.  
>  _____________

Jensen couldn’t believe he was back at Kane’s. He hadn’t been here in a year, and had sworn he would never set foot in the establishment again. But somehow Chris had managed to get the regional Karaoke competition to be held in his place again. Three years in a row was unheard of. The guy must have some kind of pull. Either that or the committee really appreciated the fact that his place was bigger than most, really packed the crowds in, so the competition was pulling in more revenue at Kane’s than it had at the last two places combined. 

 

To make matters worse, there was Jared and his friends at a table right up front. And Chris was singing the opening song, although he wasn’t actually part of the competition. But it was Christian’s place, so if he wanted to sing he damn well was going to, and no one was going to tell him he couldn’t. Unfortunately he was also a damn good singer. Not only did he own Kane’s, but he was also a studio back up singer and guitar player, which classified him as professional, which is why he couldn’t take part in the karaoke competition. 

 

There was Chris, standing at the mike, legs spread wide, hips swaying, cradling the mike with one hand, stroking the stand with the other, oozing sex appeal. His hair was loose, just barely too short to brush his shoulders, his smokey blue eyes trained on Jared. He was singing along to the NRBQ version of Accentuate the Positive. Like that couldn’t be Jared’s theme song;

You have to accentuate the positive

And eliminate the negative

And latch on to the affirmative

And don’t mess with Mr. In-between

 

You have to spread joy up to the maximum

And bring gloom down to the minimum

Have faith or pandemoniums liable to walk upon the scene

Jensen tore his eyes from Christian and studied Jared. He was as beautiful, if not more so than when he first laid eyes on him. 6’5” of finely cut muscled man-child. At that height it was impossible to miss the wide shoulders that tapered down to a narrow waist and hips with a tight, perfectly rounded ass. He had tilted cat shaped eyes that were so expressive at times it seemed like he didn’t need words to communicate. The color of his eyes was just one more thing that intrigued Jensen. Jared’s driver’s license said his eyes were hazel. But it seemed like every time Jensen looked into those expressive eyes they were another color, depending on the lighting, what Jared was wearing, or what his mood was. It was like his eyes were a mood ring, ever changing. He had high cheek bones, wide pink lips, a strong jaw and a long neck. There were moles on his face and neck that made Jensen’s mouth water at the prospect of taking them into his mouth and licking or sucking them til Jared moaned in pleasure. He had wavy, silky chestnut brown hair that Jensen wanted to run through his fingers. Jensen couldn’t help but torture himself with memories from when they first met two years ago.

 

_“Vicky, who’s next” Jensen reached for the file his receptionist was handing him. “Bring him back to change and then get the hot packs on him while I review his paperwork”. Jared Padalecki, 24 yr old injured at work, on a construction site when a beam fell on him. Dislocated left shoulder and torn ligaments in his shoulder and back, 3 broken ribs on the left, severe bone bruise to the hip and developed trochanteric bursitis, torn medial and lateral menisci which required surgical repair. So he needs therapy to the shoulder, back and whole left lower extremity from hip to knee. Walking into the therapy room to meet his newest patient Jensen stops in the doorway to give a mental “wow”. The guy is gorgeous. Tall dark and handsome doesn’t begin to describe him. Jensen takes a few calming breaths. He has to be professional, no hitting on the patients, but he’s really glad his lab coat hides the bulge forming in his pants._

_It was difficult having his hands all over that body and to keep his mind on his job but Jensen had managed to remain professional. Jared had been his last appointment for the day and now Jensen was really looking forward to the Karaoke competition later tonight at Kane’s. His friends were all going to be there for moral support._

 

Kane finished his song and was introducing the next singer, Sandy McCoy. She was a friend of Jared’s, was sitting at the table with him and his friends Chad, Tom and Misha, along with Vicky, Jensen’s receptionist who was now dating Misha. When Jensen first met Sandy she and Jared had been dating, but that soon fell apart and now her and Chad were a couple. Tom was sitting with a tall pretty girl Jensen didn’t know. Kane left the stage, walked over to Jared’s table, placed his arm around Jared’s shoulder and leaned down to whisper in his ear. Jared looked up at him and gave him one of those blinding dimpled smiles that Jensen misses so much. He felt the familiar twist of jealousy in his gut and had to look away. As Sandy launched into her song Jensen was overcome with more memories. 

 

_He was at the bar waiting for the round of drinks he had ordered for his table. “Hey, how are you, you here to sing tonight or just watching?”_

_Jensen turned to the greeting. It was Jared, his new patient from earlier today. “Yeah, I’ll be singing later. A group of my friends came along for moral support”, he smiled up at his newest crush. “What about you, you here to sing or to support?”_

_Jared smiled down at him “Oh god no, I don’t sing. I’m here to support my girlfriend” and he pointed at a pretty little brunette. That was Jensen’s first experience of having those Padalecki dimples turned on him and he lost his heart just a little bit more. Girlfriend, that figures. He would have to crush on a straight, taken guy._

_The bartender came over, looked Jared up and down, practically leered at him “What can I do for you big guy”. Ugh Jensen didn’t think the smirk could get anymore smarmy. “I’m Chris Kane, I own the place; don’t believe I’ve seen you in here before. Pretty sure I would’ve remembered someone like you”. Jensen could feel his gut twisting. He wasn’t sure what the hell that was about. After all, Jared was hardly going to get picked up by this guy when he was here with his girlfriend, but that didn’t stop Jensen from wanting to punch the creep in the face._

_Jared gave the guy a blinding smile and placed his order then turned back to Jensen “well good luck tonight. If Sandy doesn’t win then I hope you do” and winked at him. His smile returned to Jensen, and there were those dimples again. Jensen was quickly getting addicted to them. Turning back to the bar to pick up his order he found Kane scowling at him._

_Jensen finished his song, he could hear his friends clapping, whistling and calling his name, but when he looked out to the audience all he could see was Jared smiling at him, clapping his approval, and Jensen smiled back at him. He returned to his table finding it very difficult to pry his eyes off Jared and turn his attention back to his friends. Matt pulled him in close, clapping him on the back “you did great” then whispering in his ear “you know how hot you are on stage! It always makes me so horny watching you up there” and gave him a kiss on the neck. Vicky, Mike and Steve all give him words of encouragement, telling him he is a shoo-in to win._

 

“Jensen, come on, get up, it’s your turn” Steve was pushing him out of his chair. Jensen tried to keep his eyes on his group of friends, but kept finding his attention gravitating to Jared. He was having a hard time concentrating on the song until Kane left Jared’s side and went back to the bar. It wasn’t his best performance, but it was still strong enough to earn him thunderous applause at the end. His eyes drifted over to Jared again, torturing himself, but he really wanted, needed to see his reaction. He had selected ‘Me and the Boys’ by NRBQ as a kind of message to Jared, an ‘I’m just fine without you’ message. Jared was staring at him with big sad eyes and a tiny smile, not big enough for even a hint of those dimples to come out and light up the room. It was the same look he got now every time they ran into each other. The look that Jensen wanted to believe meant that Jared missed him, that he had made a mistake when he accused Jared of cheating and told him to get lost. 

 

Kane walked back up to the stage, congratulated Jensen on his performance and introduced the next singer. Then he walked back to Jared’s table, took the seat next to him and looking directly at Jensen he leaned in close to Jared, placed his hand high on his thigh and had his mouth at Jared’s ear, either in an intimate whisper or to nibble on his ear lobe. Maybe even to place a kiss at that spot just below the ear on that long tasty neck. Jensen couldn’t take it anymore, pushed himself out of his seat and made a beeline to the men’s room. The jealousy was churning in his stomach. He was breathing so hard trying to calm himself he felt like he might hyperventilate. Splashing water on his face he was vaguely aware of the door opening. “That was great Jen, really. I’m sure you’ll win again tonight” a soft, deep voice told him. 

 

Taking a paper towel from the canister Jensen scrubbed his face dry before taking a big breath and turning to face Jared. His hands itched with desire to reach out and pull the big man to him and seal their lips together. Instead he stood there, a frown frozen in place, taking in the way Jared’s eyes pleaded with him to respond, to say anything half way encouraging. Without a word Jensen brushed past him, his chest tightening with a mix of anger and sadness as he heard Jared call his name as the door shut. Returning to his table he noted the current singer was about half way through his song. There were two more singers to go before the current round of the competition would be over. Then the next round would begin, with the field of singers cut to ten. Jensen took his seat hoping his friends wouldn’t notice his emotional state, but no such luck. 

 

Matt peered at him, then at the men’s room door where Jared was just emerging, then back to Jensen “so, did you two talk?” his tone was hopeful. 

 

Jensen shook his head and with a curt “No, and I don’t want to talk to you about it either” closed the subject. Or hoped he did, but Matt wouldn’t let it go. “Jen, you need to either get over him or get him back. You’ve been a miserable mess for a year now. You need to talk to him. You know you never gave him a chance to…” and Jensen cut him off. 

 

“A chance to what? There’s nothing to talk about. It’s over and done with period.” His voice was hard but his eyes were once again glued on Jared and some of the sadness bled through his tone. 

 

Christian was calling the next singer up and Jensen’s jaw almost hit the floor. Jared was going to sing. The man couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. Was this supposed to be some kind of comic relief for the evening? He watched Jared walk up to the stage, saw the little hitch in his step indicating his injured leg was giving him trouble. He felt a twinge of… what? sympathy? guilt? he wasn’t sure, knowing he would have been able to make that better for him if they were still together. He knew Jared only limped like that when he was in pain from overwork or stress. He wondered if Jared still had nightmares of being crushed by the beam. Even a year later, when he and Jensen were still together, he sometimes still had nightmares. 

 

The music started up, it was an old Abba standby ‘Take a Chance on Me’ which Jared launched into with gusto, staring at Jensen. He squirmed under the intense scrutiny he was receiving from Jared, and alternated glaring first at his friends who were all smirking at him, and then at the singer on the stage.


	2. Chapter 2

Jared stood there staring directly at Jensen as he sang the damn song. He was no singer, he knew it wasn’t a good performance, he might even get laughed at, but he sang his heart out. If there was something Jared wasn’t afraid to do, it was to put his heart out there. He couldn’t help it, it was just who he was, someone who was incapable of hiding their feelings. Jensen wouldn’t talk to him, wouldn’t listen to him, so he had asked Chris to let him sing this stupid song tonight as a message. He had gotten Jensen’s message with ‘Me and the Boys’, but didn’t believe what Jensen was trying to sell. He was no carefree guy just havin’ fun. 

 

His song was over and he walked back to his table to a scattering of some polite applause and some snickering. He kept his eyes trained on Jensen the whole time, trying to gauge his reaction. But Jensen, unlike Jared, was well adept at hiding his feelings, and just sat there stony faced, his mouth in a tight line, neither frowning nor smiling. Sighing Jared sat down feeling defeated. Sadness washing over him, recalling the first time he had seen Jensen at the karaoke competition;

 

_He returned to their table with the round of drinks. Sandy and Chad were giggling about something together. Sandy was supposedly his girlfriend, but he knew that wasn’t going to last much longer. They had been together for the last year, but the last few months things had changed. They felt more like friends than lovers now. She didn’t look at him the same way she used to, and he couldn’t seem to bring himself to care. He knew that Chad had always liked her and could see that she was responding to his desire. Jared hadn’t really desired her for quite a while now. He wasn’t upset at all about the prospect of a Chad and Sandy match._

_Jared returned his attention to the table where his physical therapist sat. The man was gorgeous. He had short sandy hair, green eyes with long lashes, and freckles sprinkled across his face. He was 6’1” and well built with broad shoulders, nice biceps and nicely defined torso, maybe not as ripped as Jared himself, but still pretty damn attractive. Jensen was his name, odd first name but memorable. He had just finished singing, and it was obvious this contest would come down to him and Sandy. Jared was torn as to who he wanted to win. He knew he was supposed to want Sandy to win, but he was really drawn to Jensen. He had another therapy appointment with him in 2 days and it might be nice to give him a congratulatory hug then. The thought of that brought a small smile to his lips. Sandy was frowning at him “Jared did you hear a word I said? Who are you smiling at?” she sounded angry._

_“Hmm? Oh, no one, just the guy I had for physical therapy is here, I was just saying hi at the bar, that’s all” Jared apologized to her._

_“Your therapist huh, are you sure you don’t mean the bartender. He certainly has been checking you out all night” Chad laughed at him._

_“Bartender? What are you talking about?”_

_Rolling her eyes and shaking her head, now sounding just annoyed instead of angry “Honestly Jared, you’re always so clueless it’s amazing really. You’re like an overgrown child. That bartender has been checking you out all night. He seems to be under the impression that you’re available. You have something to say to him at the bar other than to place the drink orders?”_

_Jared laughed, relieved they hadn’t seen his attraction to Jensen. “You two are crazy. Even if the guy was checking me out, I’m not interested in him.”_

_By the end of the night Jensen had won the $1,000 prize for the karaoke competition, Sandy had dumped him and sought consolation in Chad’s arms. Jared would have been happy at the prospect of now being free to pursue Jensen, but when he looked over at Jensen’s table he was disappointed to see the tall pretty black haired guy sitting next to him lean in close and kiss him on the neck. Oh well, it only figured that someone as good looking and talented as Jensen would be already taken. Maybe he needed to re-think that hug._

 

The last singer was up, then there would be a half hour intermission while the votes were tallied to determine that final 10 singers. It was obvious that once again the best two singers here were Sandy and Jensen, well except for Chris but he couldn’t be part of the competition. He knew Christian wanted to sit at their table with them, wanted to show support for Sandy, but as the host that would be bad form in case someone claimed favoritism. So instead, every time he walked up to the stage he stopped for only a few seconds at a time with an encouraging word or smile for her. At one point he lingered to whisper to Jared to tell him that he had a surprise for Sandy if she won. It was funny that his friends still thought Chris was sweet on him. Sandy still kept telling him he was clueless, but really just because the guy was friendly didn’t mean he wanted to get into his pants. After all Jared was a touchy feely guy too, so he knew what it was like to be misread that way. Just because you were friendly didn’t make you lecherous right? He stretched out his left leg, massaging his hip and kneading the ITB tendon, trying to relieve some of the pain in his hip and knee. The day had been a bitch at work, far too much bending and squatting, then too many stairs after work. When he got home the only elevator in the building was out of service. He leaned back in his chair, massaging the outside of his leg remembering;

 

_He was sitting in the waiting room, his whole left side a dull throb of pain, having been reduced from the incapacitating searing pain of earlier by the oxycodone and valium he had taken an hour ago. Of course that meant he couldn’t drive with those drugs running around in his system. So Chad had driven him to his appointment, but he wouldn’t be there to drive him home again, as he had a date with Sandy. Jared was supposed to call Misha to pick him up once his appointment was over. Chad had been worried that Jared would be mad he and Sandy were together now, but the breakup had been mutual and Jared wasn’t about to lose his best friend over it._

_“Come on back Jared” Vicky smiled at him “Let’s get you changed and the hot packs on” and led him to the changing room. “Once you’re changed just hop up on this table” she indicated the treatment table next to the room she had directed him to. “I’ll put the hot packs on and let Jensen know you’re ready for him”. Jared’s heart rate picked up at the prospect of having Jensen’s hands on him again._

_He had been lying on the table for about 10 minutes, the hot packs soothing more of the pain away. He felt drowsy and closed his eyes while waiting for Jensen, as he hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep since the accident. This was his second appointment so he knew what to expect. At his first appointment he had been told that there would be 4 to 6 weeks of passive range of motion therapy, that would be followed by 2 to 3 weeks of active assistive range of motion therapy, followed by a few sessions of active range of motion exercises supervised by Jensen until he was finally discharged. All that assuming his therapy progressed as anticipated._

_“You asleep there?” he heard the humor in the voice and looked up to see Jensen smirking down at him. “Let’s get these packs off and see how you’re doing. How did you feel after the last session, any problems?”_

_Jared told him that he had felt more sore and tired after the last visit, but it seemed to go away the next day, but didn’t have any change in his baseline pain. Jensen informed him they would work on his low back and hip area first, then just the hip, and finally his knee. He had him roll over onto his stomach to try and massage some of the spasms out of the low back, then roll onto his right side to begin the passive range of motion exercises. When Jensen ran his hand down his leg from hip to knee, feeling for any muscle spasms or knots, Jared knew he was in trouble as his cock began to take notice. When the therapist grasped his leg and lifted it to start the gentle passive range of motion exercises Jared started to flush, closed his eyes and began concentrating on what he had to do at work tomorrow, hoping that would deaden the increasing interest his growing erection was taking in the activities._

_Jared walked out of the changing room buttoning up the last button on his shirt, his very noticeable limp drawing Jensen’s attention as his finished up his notes on their session. Jensen walked over to him, taking hold his upper arm in support as he walked out to the reception area “did you drive yourself here? I don’t think you’re really in shape to drive home” sounding concerned and looking around the reception room noting no one there waiting for Jared._

_“You offerin’?” Jared smiled at him as he snagged the cane he had left hanging on the back of the chair he had occupied before his appointment. “No, I didn’t drive myself. A friend drove me here but he had to leave. I can call someone else to pick me up.”_

_Still holding Jared’s arm Jensen smiled back at him “Well, you were my last appointment and I was going to close the office up now, but I’m not too thrilled with the prospect of you standing outside waiting for a ride to show up. You look like you’re about to fall over. Come on, I’ll give you a ride home” and tugged gently on his arm, moving them to the exit. Jared couldn’t help the thrill of excitement building._

_That ride home led to their first date. They had talked and laughed on the ride to Jared’s home, and then Jensen had decided he needed to help Jared out of his car. Jared asked him in for coffee, but it turned into drinks instead. Two hours later when Jensen left Jared was happily looking forward to the date they had planned for the next evening, when Jensen would pick him up to go to dinner and maybe to a movie, or Jared hoped, back to his home._

 

Jared looked over at Jensen’s table again hoping to catch his former lover’s eye, but Jensen was busy with his friends once again, especially Matt. Jared really hadn’t cared for the guy when he first met him, but over time he had actually decided he was a nice guy. It had taken awhile to reach that conclusion, especially given that Matt had seemed to think it was fun to make Jared jealous, by constantly highlighting the fact that he and Jensen once had an on again off again sexual relationship. Jensen had assured him that there really was nothing but friendship between him and Matt. He admitted that a few times in the past they had fucked each other when they were drunk and horny, but that hadn’t happened in a long time before he met Jared. Jensen had assured him it wasn’t going to happen again. 

 

But Matt had seemed to think it was fun to drape himself on Jensen and make suggestive comments to or about him when Jared was around, seeming to enjoy the younger man’s discomfort, the way his face would flush while he tried to pretend not to notice. Jared had pretended it didn’t bother him, but couldn’t understand why Jensen didn’t put a stop to it once they became a couple. Jared couldn’t understand why Jensen didn’t see how it bothered Jared to have Matt all over him. Or didn’t he care if it bothered him? Maybe he enjoyed the attention. Maybe it wasn’t as over as Jensen said it was. It had kind of eaten at Jared. That was why it had taken longer than anticipated to trust his boyfriend enough to move their relationship into a sexual one. Jensen had tried to move things along, but Jared felt as long as there was a question in his mind how involved Matt really was with Jensen, then Jared was going to protect his heart as best he could, no matter how attracted he was to the guy. It had taken awhile for Jared to get past his insecurity about Matt, but once he did he and Matt had come to accept each other, if not become friends. 

 

_The sun was searing, and the humidity was high causing Jared’s sweat soaked tee to stick to his back. Even with the top down on Jensen’s classic 1963 Chevy Impala SS convertible and the wind wiping them the heat was stifling. Jen drove this car only in nice weather in the summer. Otherwise he would drive his other classic, the 1967 Impala, or his newer SUV. Jared just hoped they made it to the beach before he just plain melted away into a puddle in the passenger seat. They were meeting both Jensen’s friends and Jared’s friends there. This would be the first time both groups would be together. Jared was glad that his friends were going to be there. He had already met Jensen’s friends and was pretty sure that if Matt was there today then Jared would not be having a good time. He had tried to ignore the guy and believe it when Jensen reassured him that there was nothing between the two, but Matt made sure to try and give the opposite impression._

_Jared leaned on his cane, reached into the trunk to pull out the blanket and cooler with his other hand. “No, no. You just take the blanket. I got the cooler and the radio and beach bag. It’s going to hard enough for you to walk in the sand with the cane, never mind trying to carry this crap too.” Jensen was all concern, but then smirked at him “I don’t need you falling down and getting hurt. Then I’d have to spend my day off working, massaging you better.” Then he laughed, “On second thought, maybe I’ll just kick that cane out from under you on the beach” he teased, raising his eyebrows up and down._

_Tom, Misha, Sandy and Chad had their blankets laid out next to each other under a huge beach umbrella because Sandy didn’t want to burn. Chad was straddling the back of Sandy’s thighs, running his hands up and down her back, presumably (Jared hoped) putting sun tan lotion on her. Jensen was just finishing spreading out their blanket, about to help Jared down when suddenly someone jumped onto Jensen’s back, throwing his arms around his neck “Jenny, I’m here. The fun can start now”. It was Matt of course. He had his legs locked around Jensen’s waist and was kissing his neck._

_Jared had just barely managed to get his right hand down to catch himself from falling too heavily, but landing with an “oomph” he wasn’t able to stop himself from landing hard enough to jolt his still painful injuries._

_“Get off me asshole” Jensen twisted his neck around to look at Matt, smiling._

_“Make me” Matt laughed back. Jensen tucked his arms under Matt’s legs and ran down to the water, piggy back style, laughing loudly “you’ll be sorry”. As soon as they hit the water’s edge he turned and fell backwards into the water, burying Matt under the surf._

_Jared watched the display trying to hide his disappointment that once again it appeared that Matt was intent on making sure all of Jensen’s attention was centered on him._

_“Why don’t you just tell him it makes you uncomfortable? God, I know if any of Chad’s ex-girlfriends acted like that in front of me there would be hell to pay” Sandy sat next to him, patting his arm comfortingly._

_Chad sat on his other side, “Yeah man, it’s just not right. Not only that but it’s pretty clear he’s doing it to piss you off. Dude, you have to put a stop to it if you don’t want to be miserable all the time.”_

_“I already told him how I feel. He says Matt’s just a friend, that he’s just overly friendly. I don’t want to push it and have him think I’m some kind of jealous asshole.” Jared told them, but was quite obviously not happy about the display._

_“You need to just jump his bones. Make him know who he belongs to. And maybe make him a little jealous too” Sandy suggested._

_“Come on Sandy, you know I don’t play games like that. Though I admit I was kind of thinking about the whole jumping his bones thing. But now that Matt’s here, he’ll take up all of Jen’s attention, and I’m probably not going to be in the mood anymore. Shit I’m not in the mood anymore already.” Jared laid back rolled over onto his stomach and closed his eyes. He really didn’t want to watch Matt and Jensen frolicking in the ocean, or see the pitying looks he was sure his friends were sending his way._

_He felt small hands massaging suntan lotion onto his back, working the knots of tension out of his shoulders. Sandy worked her way down his back, then scooted down and worked her way up first one leg, then the other, taking her time at the job. The massage was soothing and he was half asleep by the time she was done. He vaguely heard Jensen and Matt nearing, talking about throwing the football around, when he felt a small kiss planted on his cheek and Sandy whispered in his ear “think about what I said Jay”. Jared kept his eyes closed and thought maybe Sandy was right, about jumping Jensen’s bones, not about playing games. He would make an effort to overlook everything Matt did today and just concentrate on having a good time._


	3. Chapter 3

Jensen shook his head ‘Take a Chance On Me’; he couldn’t believe Jared did that. He got the message alright, but he had already done that hadn’t he, taken a chance on Jared. And look how well that had turned out. He could feel eyes trained on him, looked up and found Jared’s sad puppy eyes boring into him. He watched as Christian walked over to Jared, patted him on the shoulder as if he had done a good job with the song, and then looked over at him, like it mattered to Kane what Jensen thought of Jared’s song. 

 

Jared was talking to him now, shaking his head and appeared to be struggling to get to his feet. He watched as Sandy moved to his side, pushed him back down into his chair, sat on his lap. She threw her arms around his neck and started whispering in his ear. Jensen didn’t know who he was more jealous of, Chris or Sandy, probably Sandy although he knew that Jared was purely only friends with her. But that didn’t stop that twist of jealousy every time he saw her put her hands on Jay, like she still had a claim on him. 

 

_Jensen tried to get away from Matt, but every time he almost made it out of the surf Matt had managed to pull him back under the water. Finally he broke free and was trudging up the hot sand back to Jared, only to be confronted with the sight of Sandy working her hands up Jared’s left leg, inching their way up under his swim trunks. Then she was kissing his cheek and whispering in his ear. Jensen’s felt an urge to run over there and throw her bodily away from his guy. He had hardly had the opportunity to get his hands on that marvelous physique outside of work and here his ex-girlfriend was, feeling him up. Like she was reminding Jensen that Jared had been hers, that Jensen, no matter how hard he has tried so far has not been able to make Jared his. To make matters worse the little wench caught him staring at them and actually smirked at him, like she knew what he was thinking. Well he was going to wipe that smirk off her face. He was going to make sure Jared remembered who brought him here and who was taking him home._

_He glued himself to Jared’s side the rest of the day playing the attentive boyfriend. He made sure Jared had something to eat or drink, had enough suntan lotion reapplied throughout the day (and yeah that was a highpoint to the beach day) and that Sandy had no opportunity to attach herself to his boyfriend again._

_All of their friends seemed to get along, especially Tom, Chad and Matt. It seemed like every time Matt started to get restless Tom and or Chad would find something for the three of them to do. Plus Misha and Vicky seemed to really hit it off. They had in fact spent most of the day talking only to each other, and by the end of the day had made plans with each other for a follow up date. Steve and Mike spent all of their time together virtually ignoring everyone else._

_“How are you holding up, getting stiff at all” Jensen leaned over the prone form of his boyfriend, running his hand up the younger man’s hip, then catching his own double entendre he raised his eyebrows and smirked. They were finally back at Jared’s home. He handed him a couple extra strength Motrin and a bottle of water, sitting on the edge of the sofa cushion where Jared had stretched out._

_Jared looked up at him through his bangs, “yeah, pretty stiff, maybe you could do something about that” he smiled back, took Jensen’s hand and placed it on the obvious bulge pushing up against his shorts. “Maybe we should go to the bedroom so we could have more room. I don’t want to fall off this thing” Jared started sitting up only to groan and grab his healing ribs._

_“Yeah, let’s get you to bed” Jensen got an arm under Jared’s shoulders and helped him up to a sitting position, then to stand and helped him down the hall to the bedroom. Sitting him down on the king sized bed “Well we’ll certainly have more room here” he pulled Jared’s shirt over his head and tossed it away, then removed his own. Jared laid down in the middle of the bed, hooking his thumbs in the waist of his shorts he pushed them down to his thighs, and Jensen took over and pulled them the rest of the way off. Lying next to Jared, his hand left hand cradled in his hand, he looked down at his soon to be lover. “You sure this is okay? You’re not in too much pain?” he asked as he thumbed Jared’s left nipple, he leaned over and took the right one in between his lips gently sucking on it. Jared still smelled of the beach, a mixture of suntan lotion and salt water and sand. His skin was tanned and starting to heat up under the attention he was getting from Jensen._

_Jared closed his eyes and arched up into the touch “I’m sure. You keep doing that and I sure as hell won’t be feeling any pain” he groaned, sounding slightly breathless._

_Jensen looked down at him, the way his tongue darted out to wet those pink lips, the way Jared’s breath was starting to quicken in little pants, his skin getting flushed, hair falling in his face and fanning out around his head like a halo on the pillow. Jen’s desire was beginning to overpower him. He wasn’t sure he was going to be able to take it as slow as he had been planning. He was on the verge of just crawling on top of the beautiful specimen next to him, ravage his mouth, work his way down to that glorious engorged weeping cock, suck it down til Jared was begging for release, and then bury himself in that perfect ass._

_But this was going to be their first time and he wanted to make sure it was good, better than good, great for Jared. And Jared was still injured, so he would need to take care, to watch out that he didn’t cause pain or further injury to his partner. Jensen would first drive him crazy with foreplay. He pulled the younger man’s nipple further into his mouth, sucking and tonguing it to a hard nub as he slid his hand from the other nipple down those finely cut abs, under the waistband of the underwear and palmed the hard leaking cock trapped there. He ran his thumb over the head, smearing the leaking pre-cum around and down. He tightened his hold on his prize, feeling how smooth and hard Jared’s cock was. His own erection was still trapped in his jeans, his balls were throbbing with not enough room._

_Jensen pulled away from Jared and pulled his own jeans off as fast as he could. “Take your underwear off too” Jared growled at him, watching from the bed. Jensen couldn’t get them off fast enough, practically falling back onto the bed while pulling them off. Crawling back next to Jared he pulled the younger man’s boxer-briefs off as well._

_Jared rolled onto his right side and pulled Jensen in close, sealing his lips over the other man’s. Jensen opened his mouth and let Jared’s tongue in, tangling with his own, then took control of the kiss, thrusting his tongue into Jared’s mouth with the same fervor and tempo he was grinding his throbbing length into the other’s, the friction making both men moan in pleasure. Jared pushed Jensen onto his back “there’re supplies in the table next to you”._

_Jensen rolled over onto his right side and reached into the drawer pulled out the bottle of lube and a condom package. Before he could close the drawer again Jared reached around his middle and pulled him up close to his chest so they were spooned. Once Jensen was pulled up tight to his chest Jared’s hand slipped down to encase his throbbing member in his fist and slowly stroked him a few times. “So beautiful” he murmured in Jensen’s ear. He released his hold and slid his palm down the length to roll his balls a few times, then slid his hand a bit further back to let his finger tip slip into his crack, circling and pushing against the silky skin around Jensen’s hole._

_Jensen leaned back against Jared’s chest, rubbed his ass against the cock that was pushing along his ass crack, his own dick leaking more profusely as Jared palmed his balls and massaged his entrance. He pulled his right leg up to his chest and lifted his left leg so his foot was planted on the bed. “Mmm, yeah, come on Jay, more”. While Jared was teasing the entrance to his hole Jensen took his throbbing dick in his right and stroked. He pushed his ass farther back so that Jared’s dick could bump up against the back of his balls. The leaking pre-cum from Jared’s cock was smearing natural lubrication into his crack and Jensen started rubbing the head at his opening with clear intent. The sensations were becoming too much, either Jared was going to have to fuck him right now or he was going to roll them over and ram himself into the man behind him. He was about to demand Jared take action when he heard the foil on the condom wrapper rip open, then the lube cap snap open. Seconds later a slick right hand was jerking his cock while a lubed finger was working its way up his ass. The finger circled, stretching him as it made its way up and down his channel, and then a second finger was added. The two fingers making him feel pleasantly full while the hot moist fist encompassing his dick was on the verge of driving him insane. “More Jay, come on, I need more, please” the demand ended in a whine._

_He wasn’t sure if he was pleading for more friction on his cock or more fullness in his ass. Finally deciding he needed both at the same time he reached back, pulled Jared’s hand away from his ass, grasped his cock and shoved it against his hole. “Stick it in me, come on. Come on Jay need you now, get in me, come on.” He was panting now, his balls were starting to tighten. As Jared shoved in with a slow continuous push Jensen grasped the fist that was jerking his dick and tightened his hand around the other man’s, forcing the tempo and friction to increase._

_Jared had bottomed out in his ass and was slowly pulling out and pushing in again, scraping along his prostate on each thrust. Jensen closed his eyes and started pushing back, circling his ass against the thrusting behind him, then pushing forward into the fist tugging his cock. He was in heaven. He wanted this to last all night, the only problem was it was too good, it was driving him crazy, he needed release. “Jay please” he groaned out his plea, “harder Jay, harder, I need to come, please, so close, harder, ram it in come on”. He could feel Jared shift a bit behind him, the pace and ferocity of the thrusting picked up and he could hear the man behind him grunt on each thrust from the exertion. The scraping on his prostate was getting more intense along with the increased pace._

_“Come on Jen, come for me, let me see you come, do it” and he grasped Jensen’s cock just a bit harder, ran his thumb over the head and rammed himself into Jensen with the demand “do it Jen, now” and he did. He came hot and hard over their fists. He was finishing spurting, his ass clenching the cock still thrusting in him, when he could feel Jared’s thrusting stutter into short bursts. He felt the cock pulsing as it filled the condom. They stayed glued to each other as they panted their way down from their orgasms. Finally separating when Jared pulled out of Jensen and rolled onto his back, Jensen rolled over to throw his arm over the taller man’s chest and kissed his jaw “wow”._

_“Yeah, wow” Jared smiled at him, leaned down and kissed him on the top of his head._

 

Jensen had to concentrate on his breathing and to not move. He was afraid any pressure at all on his cock head would cause him to come in his pants. The memory of his first time with Jared had been almost as intense as the actual experience had been. 

 

The last singer of the preliminary round finished to polite applause. Now there would be a half hour intermission while the final 10 singers would be determined. Jensen knew he would be among the finalists, knew that Sandy probably would be too. Looking over again he saw Sandy stroking the back of Jared’s head, still with her mouth close to his ear, lips moving. Jensen was surprised that Chad didn’t put a stop to this display. Maybe Sandy and Jared were a couple again. Maybe he had been wrong about Kane, maybe it had been Sandy all along. Unable to tear his eyes away he was astounded when Sandy looked directly at him, glaring, mouth set in a tight line, like he had just taken a shit in public. What the hell is her problem? She’s the one sitting on Jared’s lap, what has she got to be upset about? 

 

His erection had abated enough that he was able to move again “I’m thirsty, I’ll go get us another round”. He wasn’t thrilled with the prospect of dealing with Kane at the bar, but it was preferable to sitting there being glared at by that little spitfire. 

 

Waiting at the bar for his order he didn’t notice Sandy standing next to him until she pulled on his arm “we have to talk” she demanded, trying to pull him away.

 

“No, we really don’t. We have nothing to talk about” Jensen pulled his arm back, giving the petite brunette the most aggravated look he could muster. 

 

Not giving up she tugged on his arm again “Look we can have a nice conversation or I can cause a scene and get you tossed out of here, up to you” she smiled sweetly at him in direct contrast to her words.

 

It wasn’t an idle threat Jensen knew. She would do it, would make a big scene and get him tossed. He was pretty sure that Christian would be more than happy to get rid of him for the rest of the night. “Fine, come on” he dragged her over to an empty table in the corner. “What do you want and make it fast”.

 

She sat across from him, tapping her fingernails on the table top studying him. “Don’t you think you owe him an explanation? It’s been a year and you still can’t talk to him? It’s been killing him, wondering why you changed like that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him hurt the way you hurt him, keep hurting him. Now, you are either going to talk to him tonight, finally let him know what happened, why you dumped him the way you did, said the things you did, or have one of your friends tell him, but enough is enough. He hasn’t been able to move on, won’t be able to until he knows why. If you ever felt anything for him then talk to him. Let him have some closure so he can move on. If he never meant anything to you then it shouldn’t be such a big deal for you to talk to him, so I have to believe that you did care for him at one point.” 

 

Jensen was stunned speechless for a moment. How dare she question if he had ever cared for Jared. He had loved the bastard, hell, he still did. He was the one without closure. And like Jared didn’t know what happened, why they broke up. It was because Jared was a cheating fucker, how he could pretend he didn’t know why Jensen dumped him. He was about to give Sandy an earful when she pushed away from the table and left him sitting there in the corner by himself. 

 

_That whole summer they would drive to the beach every Saturday in Jensen’s convertible. He loved the way Jay’s hair blew in the wind, always having to push his bangs back out of his eyes, looking over at Jensen and laughing. Sometimes their friends would come too, sometimes it was just the two of them. Jared finally didn’t need his cane a few weeks into the summer and their post beach activities in the bedroom became more energetic the less Jared’s injuries bothered him. Jensen had never really had a stable relationship before, had always been a one night stand, maybe a few dates kind of a guy. But he found with Jared he just couldn’t get enough of the other man’s company. Saturday nights they would all meet up at Kane’s, though Jensen was getting aggravated with that. He didn’t like the way the man looked at Jared, the suggestive comments he made all the time. Jensen didn’t want to look like a jealous jerk so he never said anything, but it did eat at him. It didn’t help that Jared himself is a touchy feely guy, still has no problem having his hands on Sandy, or affectionately hugging Kane. Jared just tells him hey, they’re all just friends, that it’s no different than Jensen and Matt. Well that may be, but Jensen still doesn’t like it._

_Next week Sunday is Jared’s birthday and Jensen has planned a beach birthday party for him on Saturday. In an effort to show he was not a jealous jerk he even invited Chris to join them. Then that night would be the karaoke competition again, marking one year that Jensen and Jared have known each other, almost their anniversary of being together. Nothing was going to ruin the weekend for him._

_It was of course another beautiful day at the beach. In celebration of Jared’s birthday everyone had brought food and booze. While the birthday boy was well on his way to getting intoxicated, Jensen made sure he didn’t drink too much, so he could drive them home later. Jensen doesn’t mind Jared getting intoxicated, but doesn’t want him too drunk. He has plans for when they get back to his place, plans that require Jared’s active participation._

_Jensen is sitting in his beach chair, beer in hand, reading a book, the sweat starting to roll down his back. Looking over to the chair next to him to ask Jared to go into water with him, he finds the chair empty. Jared is stretched out on the blanket, lying on his right side, head held in his right hand looking up at Jensen. He has gotten so tan over the last few months that his skin is a delicious golden brown color. It looks silky smooth, begging to be touched. His hair has gotten lighter in the sun, now a light brown instead of dark chocolate. Jensen watches as Jared stares at him through half lidded eyes, slowly licks his lips and crooks his finger at him, beckoning him down to the blanket with him. Jensen knows if he joins Jared on the blanket they will become a public spectacle. And just because he has come out to his friends does not mean he want to come out to the rest of the world yet, if ever. It’s his private life, not for public consumption. After all he knows some of his heterosexual friends don’t like to engage in pda’s with their girlfriends, so why should he feel bad about not wanting to do that with his boyfriend. So instead of lying down next to Jared, he asks him to go for a swim with him instead. But Jared is all sleepy eyed, and tells him no, he wants to take a nap, wants Jen to nap with him. Jensen just shakes his head no, and walks down to the water to cool off. Maybe its better if Jared does nap, then he’ll be all rested up for their post beach fun, which puts a smile on Jensen’s face as he walks to the water’s edge._

_His smile quickly vanishes as he spots Chris in the water with Tom and Matt. They’re about chest deep, or Chris’s chest deep as he is the shortest by far, in the water, throwing the football to each other. Matt sees him and throws the football to him, making him a part of their game. He wades in further, tosses the ball to Tom, who then turns to throw to Chris. “No, you guys keep playing, I’m done. I’m going back to the blankets and relax with a beer”. Chris smirks at Jensen and heads back to the group still on the beach. Or really, heads back to Jared who’s still on the beach._

_Trying not to notice the ploy by Kane, Jensen continued the game for another half hour with the guys, til Tom and Matt decided they’d had enough. They were walking out of the surf when Matt pulled him back by the arm “wait a minute Jen, can we talk for a bit? We really haven’t had any time alone to talk lately” Matt was giving him a sad smile that Jensen couldn’t resist, though he did want to get back to Jared._

_“Sure, what’s up?”_

_“You seem a little tense today, everything okay between you and lover boy?” Matt’s tone was teasing now, but his face still reflected concern._

_“Yeah, sure why wouldn’t it be. Just because that asshole Chris Kane keeps trying to flirt with him doesn’t mean anything. Jared’s mine. Just because he’s a friendly, handsy guy doesn’t mean he’s flirting back.” Jensen wasn’t really sure if he was only trying to convince Matt or himself too._

_“I know that Jen. I know that Jay loves you, that you love him, I just worry about you sometimes when I see the way you are when Jared’s friends are around”, Matt sounded more concerned now, grabbed him by the arm and pinned him with his eyes._

_“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not any different when his friends are around”, Jensen wasn’t sure what Matt was getting at._

_“Okay, maybe not all his friends, but whenever Sandy or Chris are around you get all tense and jealous, and when they’re both around, like today, well, saying you look tense would be putting it mildly. You know Jay loves you, that there’s nothing between him and Sandy other than friendship. He’s so wrapped up in you he doesn’t even see that Chris flirts with him all the time. Jay’s like some overgrown kid, he likes to give and get hugs, you know that. Hell he hugs everyone for the slightest reason, it’s his version of hello, good bye or whatever. You got a problem, you get a hug.”_

_Jensen was about to smile at the truth of that, but at that point he looked up the beach to their group. He could see Sandy lying next to Jared, curled up in his arms, her arm wrapped around his waist. Chris sitting right up against his back, stroking his hair, leaning over him. What the hell! It looked like some kind of fucked up threesome. Jensen’s chest tightened, he couldn’t breath, he couldn’t tear his eyes away. That sure as hell was more than a hello or goodbye hug going on up there. He didn’t even realize he was moving until he was standing over the three “well don’t you all look cozy” he bit out unable to keep the anger from his tone. He had to struggle to keep from pushing Chris away from Jared and pulling Sandy out of his arms._

_Chris didn’t even acknowledge Jensen’s presence just kept stroking Jared’ hair, Sandy looked up at him, put her finger to her lips in the universal ‘shush’ sign and whispered up at him. “He fell asleep while you were gone and had a nightmare. I was just comforting him, and you know what a snuggler he is” she told him, but made no move to get out from the embrace._

_Thinking to himself that the nightmare might explain an initial hug, in Jensen’s mind it didn’t explain falling back asleep in his ex-girlfriend’s arms, or having that bastard Kane all over him. Taking a deep breath to control himself Jensen leaned down, pulled Jared’s arm off Sandy, “Well I’m here now, so I’ll take care of him. You two don’t have to worry about it”, he frowned down at the two friends._

_Sandy had the grace to get up and give Jensen a small smile “I know you will”, then seeing that Chris hadn’t moved she called to him frowning “Come on Chris, Jen’s here now”, and they both stood there waiting for Chris to move away. When he finally did, it was with a scowl directed at Jensen._

_An hour later they were almost home. Jensen hadn’t been able to get the vision of Sandy and Chris with Jared out of his head. He kept an internal monologue going, telling himself it meant nothing, but he couldn’t silence that nagging voice in his mind, telling him that letting other people have their hands and bodies all over you like that was no way you behaved if you were in love with someone. Did Jay really love him? Was he really Jensen’s? Doubts were starting to cloud his mind, turning his stomach and hurting his heart. He had sat there staring at his sleeping boyfriend for twenty minutes, finally woke him and told him they were leaving. He hardly responded to any questions or conversation attempts by Jared since then, just trying to maintain control, to keep from shouting his hurt feelings at the man. He needed to be calm or things could get carried away. He didn’t want to say or do something he would be sorry for later, or to goad Jared into doing the same. So he kept his mouth shut as much as possible._


	4. Chapter 4

Jared saw Sandy drag Jensen off to a corner table, watched their exchange and noted Jensen’s anger and shock while she talked. When she got back to their table he shook his head at her, “You shouldn’t have bothered Sandy. He won’t talk to me. It’s over, and I just have to get over him. Just because I was in love with him doesn’t mean he had to be in love with me. Obviously he wasn’t, so just let it go.” He just wished he could believe his own words. He didn’t believe that he would in fact ever get over Jensen. Especially considering that he didn’t know exactly what went wrong, why they weren’t together anymore. Tonight was his birthday, so it was almost exactly one year since Jensen had dumped him, since he had told him to get lost, that he never wanted to see or hear from him again. It still hurt. Not as bad as it used to, but still hurt enough that he hadn’t even tried to date anyone else since then. He just couldn’t understand how one day they had been so happy, and the next day Jensen hated him. How did that happen? 

 

_He was having a great day. Tomorrow, Sunday, was his birthday and today Jensen was throwing a birthday party for him on the beach. All of their friends were there and everyone seemed to be having a good time. He had gotten a little too buzzed as someone or another always seemed to be coming over to him, demanding a birthday shot with him._

_Jensen had asked him to take a swim, but he was feeling so lethargic he couldn’t bring himself to get up off the blanket. He didn’t want to worry Jensen, but he hadn’t slept well in over a week, had maybe averaged at best four hours of sleep a night. He had been stressed at work, and there had been problems at the construction site. He had been spending more time there than at the office, which had increased the frequency and severity of his nightmares from his accident. Sandy, Chad and Christian had been telling him he was suffering from PTSD, and should get some counseling, but he hadn’t really given it any serious thought. He figured it was just a reaction to the stress at work now, and once the current set of problems resolved his nightmares would resolve too. But if he was going to make it through the rest of today, and then go to Kane’s tonight for the karaoke competition, then he was going to need to take a nap this afternoon. The sun and the alcohol were making it impossible to keep his eyes open any longer._

 

Jared’s nightmare:

**He was bent over, inspecting the footings of the building that was going up. Suddenly shouting broke out, and looking to his left he could see the crane operator, working furiously, trying to get the crane arm back under control, a beam was swinging in it. This wasn’t right, that shouldn’t be happening. He was in the process of standing, watching like all of the construction workers, as the beam hit the girder it was supposed to be laid upon. The beam broke free, knocking one of the workers from the girder down 50 feet to the ground, then the beam itself fell. Jared could see that the man to his left was frozen, and would be crushed. Instinctively he dove at the man to push him out of the way, had almost cleared the area himself, but not quite fast enough. The beam hit him on the left side just as he had almost cleared the area himself. The pain was breathtaking. Literally, it took his breath away and he was finding it incredibly painful trying to pull in even the smallest amount of air into his lungs. People were still shouting, scattering every which way. He looked over, the guy he had pushed out of the way was sitting, staring at the beam. Jared looked over where the beam landed. It was only a matter of a few feet from him, and there were two other guys, crushed under it, blood seeping from their mouth and ears of one of the men, the other had his face turned the other way. Neither was moving or making any noise. He tried to move, to go there and help, but there was too much pain every time he tried to move. He tried to call out for someone to help the men, but he couldn’t breathe. He tried so hard to pull in a breath, to yell for help for the men, but all he could do was gasp, trying to gulp in enough air.**

 

_“Jared, Jared, wake up”, Jared sat up, gasping for breath, his heart was racing, he could still see the blood for a few seconds after he opened his eyes. Sandy was sitting next to him, hands on his shoulders shaking him awake. He knew those men who had died. Maybe he hadn’t been friends with them, but he knew them, knew they had wives and children. His eyes were filling as he turned his gaze on his tiny companion._

_“Another bad dream Jay?” she looked up at him with such sympathy, it made Jared’s heart ache even more. All he could manage was a nod of his head. He lay back down on the blanket, Sandy followed him down and pulled him into her arms. “Shush, its okay” she whispered into his neck, stroking from his shoulder down his arm._

_Jared closed his eyes again, trying to banish the memory, he squeezed his eyes shut harder, the tears leaking out, his body shaking. He could feel Sandy stroking his arm, and then a hand at his head, patting his hair. It was Chris, murmuring sympathetic words in his ear as he consoled him. Jared kept his eyes closed as he let the love and concern of his friends’ cocoon him, and he slowly drifted back to sleep._

_“Come on, it’s time to go”, Jensen was pushing at him._

_Slowly coming awake it took a moment to register the angry tone in Jen's voice. What had he missed while he slept, why was Jen angry? “Something wrong Jen?” he asked his confusion clear._

_“It’s time to go if we’re going to get back in time to relax, shower, eat and get ready to go to Kane’s tonight.” Jen’s tone still sounded aggravated, though he did give Jared a smile._

_The ride back to Jen’s apartment was vaguely uncomfortable. Jensen hardly talked to him, would give barely more than one word answers if asked a direct question. He said he wasn’t mad about anything but something was clearly bothering him. Was he really that upset because Jared fell asleep on the blanket instead of joining him in the water at the beach? Half an hour into the ride home Jared finally gave up trying to engage Jensen in conversation and spent the rest of the ride in silence._

_An hour after arriving home Jared was on his knees and forearms, Jen was thrusting hard and fast into him, grasping his hips hard enough to hurt. He had pushed in without the usual foreplay or even much stretching, had pretty much just pulled Jay’s pants down to his knees, pushed him on the bed and climbed on top. When it became obvious that it was going to be up to Jared to get himself off while Jen thrust away with ever increasing force in his ass, he finally reached down and jerked himself until he found his release. A few thrusts later Jensen was pulsing his own orgasm inside Jared. Jen pulled out and left the bedroom for the bathroom without a word. Jay laid there, trying to come to grips with this. The day had started so nice at the beach, then he fell asleep, and now Jen was mad, mad enough to just basically fuck him with fast angry sex. Not their usual post beach fun or their sometimes serious lovemaking. Jared was hurt and confused and Jensen wasn’t supplying any answers._

_Jared had been trying to lighten up Jen’s black mood ever since they got to Kane’s. After they had showered and dressed Jay had tried to talk to Jensen, but he was still just giving terse replies. Jared started horsing around trying to get Jensen out of his mood, but no matter how silly Jared acted he hadn’t been able to lighten the mood. They arrived at Kane’s an hour early to meet up with their friends for dinner. They had two platters of hot wings and a couple of pitchers on the table. Jared had felt so relieved to be around friends who were in a good mood that his own silly side just seemed to come out even stronger. He had laughed and joked throughout dinner, and now was on the dance floor generally making a spectacle of himself with Sandy, Chad, Vicky, Misha and Tom. Even Christian had joined in the group dance for a while. Jared and tried to coax Jen to join in, but that had been a no go._

_Having built up a thirst Jared returned to the table, taking his seat next to Jensen._

_“Having a good time out there?” Jensen turned a hard gaze and frown on him._

_That was it, Jared had enough of the attitude “What the hell is your problem? You’ve been acting like a petulant child ever since the beach” he glared back at the older man._

_“Me acting like a child! That’s a good one coming from the guy who refuses to grow up and act his age. You’ve been an embarrassment all night.” Jensen’s words were bad enough, but the fury in his voice and the look of disdain were just too much for Jared to take._

_Shoving out of his seat he pulled Jensen up with him and dragged him outside. “That’s it. You’re going to tell me what the fuck is going on with you. You’ve been an ass, treating me like shit since the beach and I want to know why” he was trying to hold it together, but the hurt and frustration of the last five hours had taken their toll. Now he was struggling to keep the tears he felt, stinging behind his eyes, from falling down his cheeks like a hurt child._

_Jensen looked up at him, still clearly angry “Oh, don’t give me those big sad innocent eyes of yours. You think you can go around flirting, or worse, with everyone who looks at you, and then just give me that look and make everything okay? Well if you think that you’re even dumber than you’ve been acting.”_

_Jared was stunned. Where was this coming from? “Flirting with everyone? What are you talking about? I haven’t flirted with anyone.”_

_“I saw you on the beach Jay, all wrapped up in Sandy’s arms, Chris all over you.”_

_Surprised Jared stood looking at Jensen for a moment before it dawned on him. “You can’t really be jealous of Sandy and Chris! Sandy is happy with Chad now, and Chris is just a friend. You know I love you Jen, just you.” Jared gave Jensen a reassuring smile and reached out, pulling him into a hug, and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “It’s just you Jen, you’re the only one I care about, you have to believe me.” He stepped back from his boyfriend, putting two fingers under his chin, forcing Jensen to look up at him. “Jen, I love you, there’s no reason for you to be jealous of anyone, okay, please believe me.” He was practically begging, but didn’t know what else to do to get Jensen to believe in him._

_“Yeah, yeah, okay. I believe you.” Jensen gave him a smile, his tone was still uncertain but at least he didn’t sound angry any longer. “I’m sorry, it’s just that with Sandy being your ex and still being so close, well it just feels weird sometimes. And Kane’s always hitting on you and you just let him. I know you say you’re just friends, that you don’t believe he’s hitting on you, but Jay, you need to tell him to cut it out, okay, please, for my sake”._

_Jensen’s plea went straight to Jared’s heart. “I will, I’ll make sure that he knows we’re just friends, and that if he has a problem with that then we can’t hang out anymore. Okay?” Jared pulled him in for another hug. “Do you want to go back in now, or maybe you’d like me to show you exactly how much I love you” he smiled and grabbed Jensen’s ass, pulling him in tighter, rubbing his leg against his partner’s crotch._

_“I think we better get back in, the competition is going to start soon.” Jensen finally gave him a real smile and patted Jared on the back before turning and heading back in to the building._

_The rest of the night seemed to go well and once again Jensen won the competition and Sandy came in second. Or it went well until after the competition was over. They were celebrating at the table and Christian came over with a surprise birthday cake for Jared. He set it down in the middle of the table, stepped behind Jared, leaned down, gave him a big hug and kiss. Jared was surprised, not only by the cake but also by the kiss. He was starting to think maybe Jensen was right about Chris. Pushing his seat closer to Jensen, he put his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder. Without looking at Chris he thanked everyone for the day at the beach and the cake. He could feel Jensen stiffen as he put his arm around him. He leaned over and whispered into his boyfriend’s ear, “I’ll talk to him tonight.” Jensen just nodded at him, not meeting his eyes._

_He thought the conversation with Chris had gone well. Jared explained to him that he loved Jensen, and that while he knew Chris was just a friendly guy, that it was not appreciated the way he was always touching him. It was sending the wrong message to people. Chris told him he understood and would stop being so demonstrative. Jared hadn’t said anything about Jensen being jealous, or about Jensen believing Chris wanted him. He still didn’t believe it and didn’t want to embarrass himself or Chris._

_Sunday, was his birthday. Jared woke up still feeling out of sorts. He’d had nightmares again last night, so didn’t get much sleep. Jensen had told him he wasn’t angry anymore, but he still went back to his own apartment last night instead of staying with Jared. He checked the time, it was only 6:30 in the morning, too early to call Jensen. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get any more sleep, so he decided to just get up and start his day and headed off to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee._

_The light knock on the door filled Jared with anticipation. It was almost 1pm and he had called Jensen a few times with no return call. Hoping that it was his boyfriend he threw the door open with a big smile, only to find Sandy, Chad and Chris on the other side. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” they shouted at him and pushed their way into his apartment, cake and presents in hand. Jared did his best to hide his disappointment from his friends, keeping a fake smile plastered on his face. He pulled out plates and silverware and cut the cake. He was about to get everyone some soda to wash the cake down, but Sandy pushed one of his presents over to him, demanding he open it right away. While he was opening it she popped up out of her seat and went into his cabinets, pulling out four tumblers. The present was a bucket of pre-made margaritas._

_“Guys, don’t you think it’s too early to start drinking” Jared was concerned that Jensen would come over to find them all drunk in the middle of the day._

_“Don’t be a big wussy” Chad smacked him on the shoulder, placing a full glass in front of Jared. “Come on birthday boy, drink up.”_

_Two hours later half of the cake and most of the margaritas were gone. Jensen had finally called Jared back, telling him he would be over in half an hour. “Okay, you guys, thanks for coming over, but its time for you to leave now. Jen’s on his way over and I’ve got to get into the shower.”_

_They had all left and Jared was just about to get into the shower when his doorbell rang. Assuming it was Jensen he just wrapped a towel around his waist and went to the door. Checking the peep hole he saw Chris was back. “Forget something Christian?” he asked through the door. He wasn’t happy about opening the door to someone other than Jensen when he was clad in only a towel._

_“Yeah, I think I left my keys on your kitchen table. Got all the way down to the car before I realized I didn’t have them, then had to come all the way back up here.”_

_“Okay, just a minute.” Jared left Chris standing out in the hall while he went into the kitchen and retrieved the keys from the table. Running his hands through his hair he was just feeling relieved that Jensen wasn’t there to see him in only a towel alone with Chris. Handing Chris his keys he didn’t notice Jensen entering the hallway just as he was closing the door._

_Moments later another knock on his door had him rolling his eyes in exasperation. Throwing the door open he exclaimed “forget something else Chris?” only to find Jensen standing in front of him. He stood there, mouth hanging open in surprise for a moment, until he could register it was Jensen. Then with a big smile he pulled his boyfriend into his arms. “You’re finally here” he was so happy._

_Jensen didn’t hug him back. He pulled out of Jared’s arms, looking him up and down. Jared realized he was standing there in just a towel, having answered the door thinking Chris was there, and what it must look like to Jensen. “Jen, its not what it looks like, really, let me explain.”_

_“Explain what Jared. That you answer the door in a towel looking like you’ve just been fucked, asking Chris what he forgot. Fuck you, you goddamn slut, I never want to see you again.” Jensen turned to leave; Jared reached out and grabbed his upper arm to stop him from leaving. Jensen turned, pulled his arm out of Jared’s grasp, pushed him away, and stormed out the door, slamming it behind him._

_When he was shoved by Jensen he lost his footing, tumbled backwards and fell. He hit his head on the hall table, and his back and hip on the chair on the way down. His head, back and hip all were throbbing. Reaching up to rub his head, he noticed blood on his fingers when he pulled his hand back. He lay on the floor dazed for a while, he wasn’t sure how long, before he was able to get up and stagger to the bathroom. With tears blurring his vision, he washed off the blood dripping down the side of his face from the cut just above his temple._


	5. Chapter 5

Tonight was Jared’s birthday. Jensen supposed that Kane probably had a party planned for him. Jensen wasn’t going to let himself think about that, about the last time he spoke to Jared, on his birthday last year. He needed to get his head back into the competition, needed to concentrate on his next song. Kane was on the stage again, announcing which ten singers had made the cut to the final round. As expected both he and Sandy had made the cut, and the order of the singers meant that he had half an hour before he would have to sing again. Every time he looked up at the stage to watch the current singer he found his eyes glued to Jared’s table instead, or glued to Jared, actually. Finally deciding he needed to get away for a few minutes, he pulled his keys out of his pocket and headed outside. 

 

He leaned his head against the back of the seat, staring up at the stars. It was a clear, warm summer evening. Jensen concentrated on identifying as many of the constellations as he could, in an effort to keep his mind from roaming back to where he didn’t want it to go. He had to make sure he kept his eyes trained on the stars, because every time he closed them the scene from last year kept popping into his mind. And it still hurt too much to go there. The way he had caught Kane leaving Jared’s apartment, after Jared had promised him that he would tell Kane to stop hitting on him. Only to find Jared clad in just a towel, hair all mussed. The betrayal had been too much. Shaking his head, trying to rid himself of the memories, he reached over to turn on the radio when the door to the bar slammed open. Jared was framed in the doorway for a moment, then he was outside, leaning against the wall, staring at the ground, his chest heaving with the deep breaths he was taking. Seconds later the door opened again and Chad joined him. Jensen slid down lower in the seat, not wanting to be seen by the two men. 

 

“Come on Jay, it’s your birthday, don’t let the bastard ruin it for you.” Chad told him in a heated voice. “The guy’s an asshole. Come on back in before everyone notices you’re gone. You don’t want Sandy worrying about you right before she has to sing do you?

 

“Chad I’m fine, just go back inside and I’ll come back in a few minutes.” Jared’s voice was low and throaty sounding, like he was trying to contain his emotions. 

 

“No dude, you’re not fine. It’s time you stopped letting that asshole hurt you like this. He doesn’t care about you. You need to let it go and move on.” Chad’s voice was rising as he talked getting more and more agitated.

 

Jensen found the whole exchange odd. He had only been outside a few minutes before Jared and Chad showed up. What could Christian have done is such a short time to have Jared so upset? Did they break up on his birthday? Jensen snickered at that thought. How apropos that would be; he betrays Jensen with Christian on his birthday last year, then Christian breaks up with him on his birthday this year. Jensen wanted to feel good about that prospect, but looking at how miserable his ex was, he just couldn’t bring himself to feel anything other than sorrow over his pain. He felt an unreasonable desire to go to Jared, wrap him in his arms and console him. But he knew that whatever had happened was none of his business. 

 

Jensen was pretty sure he could not be seen in the darkness, but scooted down in the seat even further to make sure. He watched Chad return inside leaving Jared still leaning against the wall. Jensen closed his eyes, unable to resist the memories flooding him.

 

_Jensen was in the ‘63’ convertible, the top was down, it was a beautiful sunny day and it was Jared’s birthday. Jensen had decided to just pretend that yesterday never happened, that everything was fine, and that he had no reason to be jealous. He was going to surprise Jared with an unplanned trip to the beach, just the two of them. No friends, especially no Sandy and Christian, to get in the way of having a nice relaxing day, just the two of them. He knew that would make Jared happy._

_As he got out of the elevator he could hear Jared’s voice telling someone goodbye. He rounded the corner in the hallway and came face to face with Chris. Jensen could feel his blood pressure rise, glaring at his nemesis “What are you doing here” he demanded with a frown._

_“Just wishing our boy a happy birthday” Kane smirked at him._

_Jensen thought Kane looked a little intoxicated and smelled like alcohol “a little early in the day to be drinking isn’t it”._

_“Just had a nice little birthday party with our boy” Kane was trying to get a rise out of Jensen._

_Jensen had an almost irresistible urge to wipe that smirk off the little bastard’s face. “Jay is not ‘our boy’. He’s my boyfriend and its time you understood that” Jensen took a step in to crowd Kane._

_Still smirking at him, Chris replied “whatever you say Jenny”, and stepped around him and headed off to the elevators._

_Jensen stood in the hallway for a moment, taking deep breaths, trying to control himself. He had promised himself a good day with Jared, and that stupid little shit Kane was not going to ruin for him. Knocking on Jared’s door he was stunned when it was pulled open and Jared greeted him with, “forget something else Chris?” and he was in just a towel, his hair was all mussed, looking like he had just been fucked. Jensen’s heart dropped into his stomach. He couldn’t believe it, Jared practically naked, intoxicated, with Kane only having just left. Obviously Jensen had been right to feel jealous. Jared had played him. He was astounded when he was pulled into a hug by the guy, acting as if he were happy to see him “you’re finally here” Jared smiled at him. How dare he, the two timing bastard. Jensen clenched his fists, trying to keep them by his side and not smash one into the cheating son of a bitch’s face. Jared must have finally let it sink in that he had been caught, and tried to feed Jensen some cock and bull story, but Jensen told Jared he never wanted to see him again. Jared tried to grab him, Jensen just pushed him away and left._

_Jensen spent the rest of the day in his apartment. First he cleaned, and when he ran out of chores to do he turned on his computer to catch up on patient files, anything to keep his mind off of Jared. That worked fine until he tried to get some sleep that night. But every time he closed his eyes he was confronted with the image of Jared, answering the door in just a towel thinking Kane was at the door._

_The next day at work brought no respite from the nightmare. Vicky practically accosted him as soon as he walked in the door. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you do that to Jay? Do you have any idea how bad you hurt him? He can hardly…”_

_Jensen exploded “Vicky, I don’t want to talk about, or hear about Jared. I never want to hear his name again.” He glared at the receptionist “Do you understand me”._

_She shook her head, “but Jen”._

_“No! I said I don’t want to talk about it, now leave it alone, it’s none of your business”. They stood there glaring at each other until the phone rang and Vicky turned to answer it. She didn’t bring it up again, but there was a definite coolness in their relationship after that. Jensen knew that she and Jared’s friend Misha were dating, but he thought that she would have been a little more loyal, a little more sympathetic to him._

_The day dragged by with Jensen having a hard time keeping his mind on his work. It didn’t help that Vicky was giving him the silent treatment and glaring at him, unless she had to talk to him about a patient. The whole week dragged by the same way. Jensen felt like a zombie, an empty shell just moving through his life. By the time Friday night rolled around again he was ready to crawl into bed, pull the covers over his head, and not come out again til Monday morning. Instead, here he was, driving the ‘63’ convertible to the beach on Saturday morning with Matt, Steve and Mike. Jensen glanced over at the person in the passenger seat and felt like crying. It should be Jared sitting there, hair blowing in the wind, smiling at him. Not Matt, turned around in the seat talking to Steve and Mike. Looking back at the road, he tightened his grip on the steering wheel and vowed that this would be the last time he would let Jared creep into his head._

_If only it had been that easy. But every time he and the guys would pile into that car and head to the beach it was as if the ghost of Jared was sitting there next to him. He could feel the man’s absence in his life as a palpable presence. He made sure that he put up the front of a happy, well adjusted guy. But he was just unable to move on, especially when he would run into Jared or his friends. Then there were the times he ran into Jared and Chris, those were the worst, seeing them laughing and having a good time while he was hurting so badly. Sometimes the strain of keeping up the appearance in front of his friends would just be too much. Then he would hop in his car and ride, just so he could be alone with his memories and if necessary, let the tears of loss flow in private._

 

That was how that whole summer had passed, now here he was a year later, still pining for his lost love. What an idiot you are, Jensen thought to himself. He checked the time again, he had only about 15 minutes before it would be his turn. He needed to get back inside, but didn’t want to have to walk by Jared to get in the door. Sighing he had his hand on the door handle, about to suck it up and head in, when Kane came out. Shit. Now he really didn’t want to be seen. He decided to wait another five minutes, to see if the other two men would go in before him. He scooted further down in the seat, practically lying in it now. 

 

“Jay, come on back inside. It’s your birthday, don’t let him ruin it again. When are you going to let it go? It’s been a year.” Christian stepped up close to Jared, wrapping his arms around him, laying his head on that broad chest. 

 

Jared gently pulled himself out of the hug, “Chris, please, I’m sorry, you know I don’t feel that way for you. I can’t help it, I still love him. I know I have to get over him, but every time I see him it just opens the same old wounds.”

 

Chris took a step back, “You blame me for it don’t you, for him breaking up with you. I’m sorry Jay, really, but the truth is you’re better off without him. He was so jealous he wouldn’t even listen to you, and you still have the scar from him hitting you.”

 

“Chris, he didn’t hit me. He didn’t even know I got hurt when he pushed me. I fell, it was an accident, you can’t blame him for that.” Jensen could hear the pain in Jared’s voice. 

 

Were they talking about their break up last year? Jared still loved him? Jared fell and got hurt when he pushed him? Jensen felt his world tilting, everything seemed to be spinning off in a different direction from what he had always known to be the truth. 

 

“I don’t blame you Chris, it’s not your fault he didn’t trust me, or love me enough to ever listen to me, to let me tell him the truth, that nothing ever happened between us” Jared said, with so much sadness evident in his tone and drooped shoulders. Shaking his head he turned to the door “we better get back inside before its Sandy’s turn to sing.”

 

Jensen sat there a bit stunned. He was having a problem processing everything he had heard. Jared still loved him. Nothing had happened between Jared and Kane. But he had seen with his own eyes Kane leaving Jared’s apartment with Jared only in a towel. How could he have misinterpreted that? Was it really possible that Jay hadn’t cheated on him? Was this last year of heartache for no reason? Jensen’s head was swimming as he slowly made his way back into the bar. 

 

Taking his seat at the table he looked over to Jared’s table, to find him staring back. Sandy was being called up to sing, and Jensen would be next. He let his gaze rest on his former lover, who was now watching Sandy. Jensen watched as everyone at that table stood and clapped for her, watched Jared give her a big smile and a thumbs up in encouragement. He had to smile to himself as he remembered Jared singing that stupid Abba song, Take a Chance on Me. Could he do that again? Could he take another chance on Jared? He contemplated that all through Sandy’s song, never really hearing her sing. 

 

It was his turn now. He had made his decision. He would send one last message to Jared. Would Jay forgive him? The song would probably cost him this competition. Everyone else had been singing ballads for their final song. His would be a light fluffy piece, not the song he had intended to sing. Taking the stage he told the person handling the karaoke machine of the song change. The music started up. Jensen closed his eyes and started singing;

Remember last summer when we had the chance 

To find each other, start making romance

But it didn’t come off because you found another

Without one hand of a clock, what good is the other?

And I can’t find no true love oh baby it’s so hard

And I still think about you every time I’m ridin’ in my car.

He continued on through the next verse, eyes still closed. But when he came up to the set of lyrics;

It’s been a year and a day since I talked to you

I don’t know how I made it, but I sure have been blue

And every time I think about what might have been

I jump in my car and start ridin’ again.

Jensen opened his eyes and looked straight at Jared. Holding his stare he sang right at him;

And I can’t find no true love oh baby it’s so hard

And I still think about you every time I’m ridin’ in my car.

He closed his eyes and finished the song. Yeah, there was no way he would win the competition with that old NRBQ song. Hopping off the stage he walked up to Jared “Can we talk?”

 

Jared looked up at him with watery eyes and nodded. Not saying anything he got up and followed Jensen to the back room. “Did you mean it Jen, have you missed me?” Jared was looking at him with such hope it made Jensen’s heart hurt. 

 

“Yeah, I meant it” Jensen stepped forward, pulled the younger man into a hug. He put his right hand on the back of Jared’s head, tangling it in those silky strands, and pulled him down for a soft kiss. “I’m sorry Jay. I’m so sorry, I should have given you a chance to explain.” He heard Jared’s breath hitch and the taller man buried his face in Jensen’s neck.

 

“I missed you so much Jen.” Jared whispered hoarsely, his voice breaking. 

 

“I’m so sorry I hurt you. I should have listened, I shouldn’t have pushed you.” Jensen pulled out of the hug. He needed to see Jared’s reaction when he told him the next part, needed to make sure that Jared wouldn’t be mad, that everything truly was forgiven. “Jay, I heard you outside with Chad, and then with Christian. I didn’t just hurt you emotionally did I? You fell when I pushed you and you got hurt, I heard Chris say something about a scar. What happened?” Jensen couldn’t see any scars, but was concerned about what kind of damage had occurred.

 

“It doesn’t matter Jen, it was an accident, it’s no big deal, just a little scar from a cut.” Jared tried to pull him back into a hug while he talked. 

 

“How’d you get cut, tell me, let me see the scar”

 

“No, Jen, leave it alone, its over and done with now.”

 

That only got Jensen more concerned. Why wouldn’t Jared tell him what happened, why wouldn’t he let him see the scar? Was it that bad? “Jay, if we’re going to be together again, we can’t start out with secrets. Tell me what happened, show me the scar, please.” He could tell this was upsetting Jared, so he placed his hand on his shoulder, and slowly stroked down his arm, comforting him. 

 

Jared took a deep breath and told him in a soft voice, “It’s not a big deal Jen. Last year, when you left my place, I fell and got cut.”

 

“You mean last year when I pushed you, you fell. Now let’s see that scar.” Jensen tried to speak with some authority in his voice, pushing the matter, but doing his best to have it not sound argumentative. 

 

Jared pushed his bangs away from his forehead revealing a one inch scar just above his temple. 

 

Jensen reached up and traced the scar with his finger, “Jesus, look at that. What the hell did you get cut on?” Jensen’s eyes were wide, glued to the scar.

 

“You pushed him, he fell backwards, hit his head on the hall table and hurt his back and hip again in the fall. So yeah, you did a real good job on him, physically and emotionally.” Kane was glaring at Jensen, his hands balled into fists at his side. Stepping up so his chest was almost touching Jensen he continued “you were just lucky I didn’t kick your ass. The only reason I didn’t was Jay wouldn’t let me. So, just to let you know, you hurt him again and he won’t be able to stop me.” Kane finished his speech, turned and left.

 

Jensen watched Kane retreat for a moment, then turned his attention back to Jared. He gave Jared a small smile “well I guess I deserved that”, then he turned the taller man’s head to the side and thumbed the scar, pulled his head down and placed a soft kiss over it. “I’ll never hurt you again, I promise”, and pulled the man he loved into a crushing hug. He had missed this, missed this so much, having Jared in his arms. When he felt Jared wrap his arms around him in return he felt the last year’s pain begin melting away. This is where he belonged, in Jared’s arms. 

 

“So, it’s my birthday you know” Jared murmured in his ear, pulling him in tighter, grinding his pelvis into Jensen’s leg. 

 

Jensen felt the heat starting to raise in his belly, his cock starting to harden. Grinding back, Jensen told him “Yeah, I know. Too bad I don’t have a present for you.” It was getting harder to breath and he was losing his ability to concentrate on anything other than the delicious friction of their bodies rubbing against each other. 

 

“You’re sure you don’t have a present for me?” Jared’s voice dropped an octave as he palmed Jensen’s erection. 

 

“If you want to unwrap that I think we better move somewhere more private.” Jensen thrust into Jared’s hand, his own voice growing gravely. Jensen pulled out of Jared’s embrace, panting, “Don’t your friends have something planned for you tonight?” 

 

Jared flipped open the button on Jensen’s jeans, “Don’t have to unwrap it all the way” and he shoved his hand down Jensen’s jeans, grasped his hot stiff length and thumbed the leaking head. As he started stroking Jensen off he whispered in his ear, nibbling on the lobe “If they have something planned they haven’t told me, so we can leave whenever.” 

 

Jared’s hot hand clasping him, stroking him while thumbing the leaking slit was making his legs weak. In a strangled voice Jensen moaned back at him “Jay, stop, please. I, I’m going to come if you keep that up, don’t want that in my pants.” Jensen grabbed Jared’s arm to stop him, closed his eyes and breathing hard, he concentrated all of his will power on not letting his release overpower him. He pulled Jared’s hand out of his jeans, looked up at the taller man, “Do you want to get out of here?” voice still husky. 

 

Jared nodded at him, pulled away and started heading back to the table, Jensen was about to follow, his eyes being drawn to the way the perfectly formed ass moved in front of him, his hands itching to take possession of those cheeks. Which is why he noticed the limp. A horrible thought crossed his mind, he reached out, grabbed Jared by the bicep and turned him around “You’re limping”, his tone was almost accusatory. 

 

“Yeah, so, you don’t remember that happens sometimes?” Jared pulled his eyebrows down in a confused look. 

 

“Kane said you hurt your back and hip again when you fell.” Jensen narrowed his eyes at Jared, “is this from…” Jensen choked out the final words, guilt already starting to eat at him.

 

Jared interrupted him “No, no Jen, really, it’s just the same old stiffness from a bad day, nothing more.”

 

“You’re sure” Jensen asked, studying the other man’s face for the truth.

 

“Yeah Jensen, now let’s get out of here. My place is closer, follow me there, okay” Jared turned and started walking away again. 

 

They were almost to the door when Sandy came running up, pulling Jensen aside she scowled at him “You’re getting a second chance, don’t blow it.”

 

Jensen smiled down at her. She really was quite the little spitfire, “believe me, I know, I won’t screw it up again. And maybe you could tell Kane to keep his hands off Jay this time too.”

 

Sandy finally smiled at him, “I can do that.”


	6. Chapter 6

  
Author's notes: So sorry it has taken so long to update, but while I was on vacation earlier this month 3 plot bunnies bit me on the ass and wouldn't let go until I completed story outlines for them. Then the ending to this story changed in my mind after I had almost finished the original, so had to re-do.  
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* * *

They had made it to the middle of the third flight of stairs at Jared’s apartment, and Jensen could see him really starting to struggle with the continuing ascent, leaning more heavily on the railing, his limp getting more pronounced with each step. Jensen was becoming concerned about Jared’s ability to manage the rest of the stairs. By the time they got into Jared’s apartment he was grimacing in pain. Jensen gripped his upper arm, guided him over to the sofa “Sit there for a minute. You have any pills for that pain?” he asked, concerned about the way Jared’s breathing had become labored. Bending over he put his hands under Jared’s knees, pulling them up and swiveling them over onto the sofa, forcing Jared into a semi reclined position, his back leaning against the armrest. 

 

Jared waved his hand in the direction of the hallway, “in the medicine cabinet.” Beads of sweat were starting to pop out on his forehead from the exertion of the stairs. Once or twice in the last year he’d had to climb the stairs instead of using the elevator, but this had been the first time he had to use the stairs multiple times in one day after he was already having muscle spasms from a bad day at work. 

 

Jensen recalled the layout of the apartment and walked directly to the bathroom, pulled open the medicine cabinet and found a bottle of Motrin, along with prescription strength pain killers and muscle relaxers. Given the level of pain it appeared that Jared had been in Jensen decided to bypass the Motrin and shook out one muscle relaxer and one pain reliever, filled a glass of water and went back out to the living room. Handing the pills and water glass to Jared “Here take these” he sat down on the edge of the sofa, near his boyfriend’s hip. He watched as Jared took the pills and drained the glass, then took the glass from him, set it on the coffee table. Jensen massaged Jared’s hip for a minute, then pulled the younger man up, “come on, I can work on you better in your bed.” 

 

Once in the bedroom Jensen stood and watched as Jared unbuttoned and pulled off his shirt and jeans and laid down on his back, smiling up at Jensen. God he had missed this, missed watching the reveal of the finely chiseled physique now in front of him. Missed the anticipation of waiting to get his hands on the heated skin, run his fingers over the muscled chest and abs, trail kisses along behind his fingers as he worked his way down that perfect torso. Christ he had to get himself under control. Jared was in pain, in no condition for any of those things. There would be time enough for all of that later. Taking a deep calming breath he climbed on top of the bed, kneeling at Jared’s hip. “Aren’t you a little overdressed” Jared asked, pulling Jensen down for a soft kiss. 

 

“No, I don’t think so. Tonight I think we just work on getting you to feel better” Jensen pulled away from the kiss and rolled Jared onto his stomach so he could work on Jared’s back, kneading and massaging the muscle spasms he found there. He could feel Jared’s body becoming more lax as he worked. Jared was making soft moaning sounds of “mmm, so good” and “yeah, right there” that were testing Jensen’s resolve to not just pull the man’s boxers off and latch onto Jared’s dick and suck him dry. He could see that Jared’s eyes were closed and his breathing getting deeper as he relaxed. Jensen was pretty sure Jared would be asleep in another few minutes. He leaned over and placed a kiss on his forehead and in a quiet voice told him that he was going back to his own home and would call him tomorrow. 

 

Jared opened his eyes, pulling his brow down he responded “Don’t go. Not yet. Please, we only just made up after a year apart. Lay down with me. Stay tonight. We don’t have to do anything other than sleep. Please.”

 

Jensen looked down into wide eyes that were slowly filling with sadness. Jensen had always liked to kid Jared that those eyes didn’t work on him; but they did. Whatever Jared wanted Jensen would give him when he looked at him like that. “Sure Jay, no problem, I’ll stay.” 

 

Jensen was suddenly pulled out of sleep by the unfamiliar sensation of being spooned. Sunlight was starting to peek through the blinds and Jensen rolled onto his back, turning his head to look up at Jared. The man had his eyes closed, but Jensen could tell he was awake. Obviously Jared knew Jensen was awake as well, as he tilted his head down to press a brief kiss to Jensen’s lips. “Good morning” he murmured into Jensen’s ear, a smile breaking out, though his eyes were still closed. 

 

Jensen reached up with his left hand to cup Jared’s neck, pulling him into a deeper kiss. The familiar fire, deep in his belly was beginning to burn. Every time he kissed Jared, touched him, the fire would start to build. Jensen rolled so they were facing each other and he was able to deepen the kiss further. As Jared welcomed his tongue with his own Jensen pulled the younger man in closer, erections bumping into each other. The fever was on him now, burning through his whole body. His hands were roaming all over Jared, searching for a response from the body next to him. He felt Jared’s hands at his back, pulling him in closer, Jared’s leg pushing in between his own. “Want you” he groaned into Jared’s ear, then licked a stripe from his collarbone to his ear, finally sucking the skin just below the lobe. When Jared gave out a soft moan of pleasure Jensen’s desire kicked into full gear. He rolled onto his back, pulling Jared on top of him. 

 

Having Jared blanket him, his weight pressing him into the mattress, their cocks rubbing against each other was driving his desire higher. Bucking his hips up into Jared’s he cupped the larger man’s ass, pulling him in tight, “God Jay, I missed you so much. I want,” he was getting breathless and unable to think past the _want._

 

“What, what do you want” Jared whispered to him as he pulled himself onto his forearms to stare down at Jensen’s face. God the man was beautiful, especially when he was like this, eyes closed, face flushed with desire, laid out underneath him almost begging for him. “Want this Jen?” he asked in a husky voice as he ground his pelvis harder into the older man’s. “Want me to fill you up, take you hard and fast? Or take our time? Have me lick and kiss every inch of you? What do you want?” he finished all the while maneuvering them to shed Jensen of his boxers. 

 

Jensen hardly registered the sensation of Jared removing his underwear, his words inflaming his mind and body until all he could think was _want, what does he want._ The only answer he could think was Jared. He wanted Jared, anything that Jared would do would be what he wanted. Not sure if he had said this aloud or just thought it he panted out “You”. He felt Jared’s lips on his throat, working their way from behind his ear down to the dip under his adam’s apple. Jared’s hand was between them, wrapped around his leaking dick, slowly working his shaft up and down driving him slowly insane. “Jared, please” he practically whined, “stop teasing, d…do, do something” he was reduced to stuttering now. 

 

Jared pulled up from Jensen’s body, kneeling between his legs, and pushed them further apart with his own as he reached over to the night stand to pull out the bottle of lube and a condom. He quickly spread some of the jell on his fingers and started massaging the silky skin of Jensen’s entrance. Lying down once again he latched his mouth over the older man’s penis, sucking it half way down the shaft, working his tongue up and down the silky hardness. Jared continued fingering Jensen’s hole until he felt the skin start to flutter, and then pushed his finger slowly in the tight heat. He was almost overcome with the desire to just slick his cock and push his way in, his own throbbing need starting to overwhelm him. He pushed another finger in, trying desperately to prep his partner as fast as he could without hurting him. It had been too long since the last time he’d had anything other than his own hand, knew he wouldn’t last long enough to make it good for Jensen. “Fuck” he moaned as he pulled his fingers from the older man’s ass, wrapped his hand around his own erection and sucked Jensen’s cock further into his mouth.

 

Jensen felt like he was ready to come almost as soon as Jared had sucked him into his mouth, the man’s tongue driving him closer as it worked up and down his shaft. He was about to drive his hips up into that wonderful moist heat until he felt the finger work its way into his body. This was something he hadn’t had in quite a while, and the intrusion stilled his hips. When the second finger was added he gasped, almost pulled away, but the mouth on his cock kept him nailed in place. The burning in his ass was something he was trying to get used to when suddenly the fingers were gone and the sucking on his cock increased. No longer able to control the urge he bucked up into his partner’s mouth. “Oh god, come on, suck me. More, come on, harder, more” he tried to demand, but it came out in short gasps. His balls were tightening and he could feel his orgasm approaching. He knew this would be over in another few moments. Pulling his head off the pillow he looked down to watch those wide pink lips become shinier with spit getting pinker the harder they worked his cock. He groaned in pleasure as his release overtook him, filling his partner’s mouth with his load. 

 

Jared barely registered Jensen’s words, just letting the sounds wash over him, driving him to fist himself harder, faster. He knew Jensen was as close to the edge as he was and sucked him down further. He needed release, and as soon as his mouth was filling with Jensen’s cum he let himself go. The intense pleasure of his own orgasm exploded out of him, spilling over his fist. He let the softening cock fall from his mouth as he turned his head to rest it on Jensen’s hip, slowly coming down from the high of his release. 

“Hey, come up here” Jensen half sat up, trying to pull Jared up next to him. “Your turn” he said as Jared settled on his back next to him.

 

“Already taken care of” Jared said with a contented sigh and soft smile. “Hungry now that I’ve worked up an appetite. Want some breakfast? You know I make the best pancakes.”

 

“Sure, yeah, I could eat” Jensen replied. He really wanted to go home and shower, but was reluctant to end the time spent with Jared now that they were finally together again. He almost felt afraid that if he left something would go wrong, maybe Jared would rethink their reunion, and everything would fall apart again. 

 

Throughout breakfast they chatted about superficial stuff, inquired about each other’s job’s, how they were doing, nothing too personal. Jensen felt like they were dancing around what really needed to be discussed, each not wanting to ruin the mood. Finally they ran out of small talk and an uncomfortable silence descended over the kitchen. Unable to take the strain of the silence any longer Jensen started talking, not really having formulated what he wanted to say, just knew the air had to be cleared. “Jared, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I should have trusted you, given you a chance to explain, not let my jealousy get the best of me.” He blurted it out as fast as he could, eyes darting between his coffee mug and Jared’s face, dreading what Jared’s reaction might be to the reminder of how Jensen had failed him. He held tight to the mug to keep the tremble in his hands still.

 

Jared reached across to cover Jensen’s hands with his own, “Jen, it’s water under the bridge. We’re starting new. Please don’t apologize anymore. I forgive you. I just want us to be us again. Please, let it go. I promise I’ll try not to do anything to make you jealous ever again. But you have to promise to trust me. If something does happen to make you jealous you have to talk to me before you shut me out again. I couldn’t take it if you did that again. Just promise to talk to me, okay?” Jared was looking at him with those wide puppy eyes of his that he knew always went directly to Jensen’s heart. 

 

Jensen took a deep breath, looked up and held Jared’s gaze. “Jay, I can’t promise that I won’t ever get jealous again, but I do promise to trust you, to talk to you about things. I know Chris and Sandy are just friends, and I won’t ask you to see them any less. I know I have to work on my jealousy and I will. You’re entitled to have your friends, same as me. I know you were jealous of Matt for awhile, so if you could get over that, then I can work on getting over how I feel about Sandy and Chris.” Then with a rueful smile he added “Well, not so much Sandy really,” leaving the unspoken __“just Chris” hanging in the air.

 

“That’s all I ask Jen, just for you to promise to trust me, to talk to me about any problems, okay?” Jared gave him a reassuring smile. 

 

Clearing his throat, trying to get the lump of emotion clogging his ability to speak removed; Jensen asked “can I call you later today? Maybe we can do something, I don’t know, maybe take a ride, get some dinner or something? But I really need to go home and clean up” he said, wrinkling his nose at the smell of his own body and disheveled clothing. 

 

Jared chuckled at him, his eyes sparkling with humor, “Yeah, that’s good. Call me later, set up a dinner date. I’ll let you woo me.”

 

Jensen called him at 1:00pm, telling him he had made dinner reservations at Rosie’s Steak House. It had been one of their favorites. The plan was for Jensen to pick him up at 6:00, as the reservation was for 7:00. This would give them plenty of time if there was a lot of traffic or for a drink at the bar if they were early. 

 

Jared had just finished cleaning the apartment, changing the bed sheets and getting ready to hop in the shower when the door bell rang. Checking his watch he was pretty sure that it couldn’t be Jensen this early, it was only 5:30. Throwing a robe over his naked body and pulling his boxers back on he checked the peep hole. Sandy, Chad and Chris were at the door. Shit! He really needed to get ready for his date, but knew if he didn’t let them in then Chad would just use his key and let themselves in. Pulling open the door he stood in the door way trying to block his friends from entering. “What are you doing here” he scowled at them, hoping his tone and frown would be enough to get this visit over quickly. 

 

Sandy just scooted by him and Chad and Chris pushed past him after her. Turning to confront his friends and tell them to leave he suddenly had an armful of petite brunette. Sandy had flung herself at him, and was squealing in his ear, “I won. Can you believe it, I won last night”. Ah yeah, last night, the karaoke contest. 

 

“That’s nice Sandy, congratulations. But I’m busy right now so you guys got to leave, okay.” Jared was trying to be polite but he really needed to get them out of his apartment, right now. 

 

Chris came over to him, pulled him into a one-armed hug and beamed up at him, “That’s not all big guy. Got a surprise for you too” and Chris gave him a peck on the cheek, his arm still around him. 

 

Jared was struggling to get Sandy off of him and back on the ground, and remove himself from Chris’s embrace when he looked up to find Jensen in the door way. Noting the thunderous look and beet red face of his boyfriend he called out to him, his voice on the edge of breaking, fearful of the reaction he would receive, “Jensen, come in. Please.” He watched in horror as his love just turned on his heel and left without a word.


	7. Chapter 7

  
Author's notes: A big thank you to Jolieblon for the beta on this chapter.  
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* * *

Jensen knew he was early but the anticipation of seeing Jared again had proved too much. He had tried to force himself to calm down, but he found himself ready and on his way to Jared’s earlier than planned. As he approached the apartment he could see the door was ajar and heard voices from inside. Stepping through the doorway he was bowled over by the nightmare in front of him. Jared in just a bathrobe, Sandy wrapped up in Jared’s arms and Chris embracing him. He couldn’t breath. He felt the room beginning to spin. Oh, god, it was happening again, jealousy hitting him like a physical blow to the gut, making him see red, chasing all rational thought from his mind. 

 

He stood there, rooted to the spot for a minute, staring at the group, only to be pulled from his trance by Jared calling to him. “Jensen, come in. Please.” Jensen looked up to see the panic clear in Jared’s eyes, his eyes begging him to not run. But Jensen couldn’t breath. He needed space. He turned and headed out of the apartment. He needed to collect himself, to make sense out of what he had seen. He made it a few feet past the door down the hallway, then leaned against the wall, pulling in deep lung fulls of air, trying to calm himself. 

 

Leaning against the wall he closed his eyes, haunted by Jared’s panicked face. He had promised to believe him, to give Jared a chance to talk to him. He couldn’t go back on his promise. He had to go back into that apartment and face his fears, face the prospect of Jared rejecting him in favor of another. He kept repeating to himself, _this is now, this is Jared. It’s not like before, not the same as David or the others. Jared really loves him._ Several more deep breaths and Jensen pulled himself from the wall and turned back to the doorway. 

 

Entering the apartment for a second time he was surprised to see the look of sympathy on Sandy’s face. However, he was not prepared for Chris smacking him, open handed on the chest. Then, glaring at him Chris growled “what did I tell you about not screwing up. Get back in there right now before I kick your ass.” 

 

Jensen looked down at Chris’ hand still on his chest. He was pressing an envelope against him. Jensen took the envelope and barely acknowledged Chris, “go” was all he said to the man and headed into the apartment. 

 

Jared was still standing in the same place, hurt written all over his features. Jensen walked up to him, pulled him into his arms “I’m sorry. I promised I wouldn’t leave without talking to you first, but I just really needed to calm myself.” He stood there holding Jared in his arms, starting to panic once again when Jared just stood there, not responding. No words, no return hug. He was about to step back away when he was slowly wrapped in Jared’s arms, pulled almost painfully tight to the big man. 

 

“It’s okay Jen. You came back. You didn’t really leave. Its okay” Jared’s voice was broken, his breathing erratic, contradicting his words. Jensen knew it really wasn’t okay.

 

Jared dropped his arms and pulled back from Jensen, pulling his robe tighter around him “I still need to shower” he said softly, searching Jensen’s face for any sign his boyfriend was still angry with him. All the joy he had been reveling in earlier now lost. “You’ll wait? We can talk after, right?” Jared asked, despair and hope warring within him. 

 

“Yeah, of course, go shower. I’ll be right here. Everything’s okay.” Jensen tried for a reassuring smile, but was pretty sure it was just a weak imitation, because he didn’t feel sure about how okay they were now at all himself. He knew he had hurt Jared again by his actions. He was so angry with himself. Shit, just how many times was he going to let his jealousy control him? He needed to get this under control somehow. He couldn’t let it ruin his life once more. What if Jared decided he was too much to put up with? He couldn’t take losing him again. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t hear Jared return.

 

As he sat contemplating he realized he was still holding the envelope Chris has smashed into him. His name was scrawled across the front, the flap only tucked in, not sealed. Pulling the flap free he was surprised when a check was revealed. A note was attached. He had come in 2nd last night, the check was for the $500 prize. So, that was why Chris had showed up, to have Jared give the prize money to Jensen. Now he felt like an even bigger heel. 

 

“All set, ready to go?” Jared’s voice and demeanor were both tentative. Jensen was sitting on the sofa, his mouth in a tight line and brows drawn down in a v. Jared was a bit afraid of what Jensen’s reaction to him was going to be. Was he really okay with what he had seen, or had he stayed just to keep his promise to not run before talking about it? Were they going to have another break up?

 

Jensen looked up at him “Sure, let’s go” he said, and Jared let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. 

 

Dinner was not the happy reunion that Jared had been hoping for before the drama in his apartment. Both men were more quiet and pensive than their usual personalities. Jared tried hard to lighten the mood, but with his own feelings so twisted in knots everything felt forced. Jared finally gave up trying to pretend everything was alright, and decided to face the matter head-on. Fiddling with his utensils he kept his gaze on his plate, reluctant to see any lingering distrust in Jensen’s eyes. “Jen, they just showed up unannounced when I was getting ready for you. I didn’t know they were coming over, really. You believe me don’t you?” Jared lifted his eyes briefly to see what effect his words had, and his heart sank as he saw Jensen’s lips tighten and he exhaled a large breath. Jared tried to steel himself for bad news, but could feel the emotions starting to choke him. 

 

Jensen furrowed his brow concentrating on trying to formulate his answer, find just the right words to alleviate the situation. He looked over at Jared and could tell the man was unhappy. The tension was increasing as he sat there not answering, looking for what to say. Finally he decided, screw it, he would just have to start talking and hope that the right words would come to him as he spoke. “Jared, I know you’re telling the truth. But really, it shouldn’t make any difference if you invited them or if they were there unexpectedly. They’re your friends; you have the right to have company without me flying off the handle. It’s not fair for you to be afraid of how I’m going to react when I see you with your friends. I know I have problems with jealousy. I know I need to work on it. And I’m trying. Really I am. Just the fact that I was able to come back into your apartment after only a few moments out in the hall is a step forward for me. It’s just that” and Jensen huffed out a sigh. He really didn’t want to go any further with that.

 

But Jared wasn’t letting it go, “what Jensen, it’s just that what?” his interest piqued. 

 

“It’s just that, it’s hard for me to not leap to conclusions.” Jensen felt his throat constricting. God he really didn’t want to talk about his past. He hated facing it. But he knew Jared wasn’t going to let it go. He would just have to suck it up and give him some details. Maybe if he could just get by with the bare minimum. “It’s just that in my experience where there’s smoke there’s fire. In the past, when I got jealous it turned out there was good reason to feel that way. Well, at least some of the time, maybe not really all of the time. Then over time it kind of almost became a self fulfilling prophecy, you know. I’d get jealous, my boyfriend would get fed up with me, find someone else and, yeah, so… I know I have a problem and that I have to work on it. But Jay, I love you; I don’t want to lose you. So what I think is; I think we should take it slow getting back together. Go on some dates, get used to each other again. Let me get used to your friends, kind of build up a tolerance to them you know?” He gave Jared an apologetic smile, hoping against hope that Jared would get how hard he was trying to make things work.

 

Jared felt relieved and scared at the same time. Relieved Jensen wasn’t breaking things off, but a bit scared about what was in Jensen’s past, and how it was going to affect their future. After all it seemed to him they had taken things kind of slow the first time around. Jared thought they had spent a lot of time with their friends the first time around. How much time was Jensen going to need? But at least Jensen was acknowledging he had a problem and was willing to work on fixing it. Jared wasn’t sure that “desensitizing” Jensen to his friends would be sufficient, but it was at least a starting point. “Yeah, sure we can do that” Jared told him, trying to make sure his own doubts didn’t show. 

 

Jensen pulled up in front of Jared’s apartment put the car in park, but didn’t turn it off. “So, you don’t want to come up for awhile?” Jared asked, already pretty sure he knew the answer. 

 

“No. You know, the whole ‘take it slow’ thing. I don’t think it would be a good idea.” Jensen replied as he slid over closer to Jared. Cupping the younger man’s neck with his right hand he pulled him down for a goodnight kiss. 

 

Jared half turned his body and slid over to get closer and deepened the kiss, plunging his tongue into Jensen’s, sucking the other’s into his mouth. He held Jensen close with his left arm wrapped around Jensen’s back and pushed his right leg over Jensen’s legs, almost climbing into his lap. His kisses were getting more passionate, heat starting to build in groin, all thoughts other than _more_ having fled his mind. 

 

Jensen pulled away, almost breathless “Jared stop. We need to stop this now or we’ll end up upstairs in your bedroom.”

 

“So?” Jared whispered in Jensen’s ear as he nibbled on the lobe.

 

“We agreed, we’re going to take things slow” Jensen almost whined out his objection. He was so turned on, so hard, he really wanted to just take Jared right now. Even if only for mutual hand jobs. But he needed to take things slow. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Jared let himself out of the car feeling disappointed even though he had agreed to give Jensen time to try to get a handle on his jealousy problem. 

 

It was still early and Jensen felt like he really could use a drink after all of the tension from today. Jensen figured maybe he could kill two birds with one stone and headed off to Kane’s. 

 

The place was practically empty since it was a Sunday night. Jensen approached the bar noting only one other customer seated there, deep in conversation with Chris. Jensen headed to the opposite side of the bar from the other guy. He wanted privacy when he talked with Chris. 

 

He could feel Chris watching him as he walked over and took up residence on one of the bar stools. “What are you doing in here alone?” Chris asked, clearly surprised to see his newest patron. 

 

“I wanted to talk to you. Jared and I have pretty much made up, and I just wanted to know if you’re going to be okay with that, or if you’re going to be causing any problems.” Shit, that’s not what he meant to say. Well it was what he wanted to know, but he really wanted to do it in a nicer, more roundabout manner, but just being in the same room with Kane got his hackles up. How the hell was he supposed to make nice with him and not cause problems with Jared if he couldn’t control himself better? 

 

“Look I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant to say. I want to thank you for bringing the 2nd place check over to Jared’s today. And yeah, Jared and I have made up. I told him we should take things slow, not jump right into things, to make sure no one gets hurt again. So, I need to know if you’re going to be Jared’s friend and support him in this because that’s what he wants, or are you going to try to come between us again?”

 

Chris studied him for a minute, then replied in a hard tone, “I’m Jared’s friend. I know he wants you, and I won’t do anything to hurt him. So if that means getting along with you, then that’s what I’ll do. But be warned. You screw this up again, and first thing I’ll do is tear you apart, then second thing I’ll do is make sure I’m there to pick up the pieces of Jared, and this time I won’t let go.” Chris stared at him another moment, then softened his voice and held out his hand “Okay?” 

 

Jensen stared back at him, then bridged the gap between them and shook Chris’s hand. Nodding his head he replied “Yeah, okay. That’s fair.” Feeling relieved that the confrontation had gone well Jensen went home to ponder how he was going to ensure that he didn’t screw up again. He finally decided that given his history of one breakup after another mostly due to his jealousy, that maybe he needed some professional help. 

 

*****

They were at the beach once again. Jensen was in the surf with Matt, Tom, and Chris, throwing the football to each other. Jensen could see Jared up the beach, lying on their blanket. He watched as a twenty something, buxom blond approached his boyfriend. He watched as Jared sat up and gave a dimpled, dazzling smile to the girl. Jensen could feel his blood pressure rising and turned to start up the beach. Who the hell did this girl think she was talking to his boyfriend? And why the hell was Jared flirting with her? Jensen needed to put a stop to this, Jared was his, no one else should be talking to him. 

 

As he took a step towards the beach he realized what he was doing and stopped. He had been going to counseling for the last two months, and although clearly he still struggled with his feelings of jealousy he was gaining control of how he responded. As he was turning back to the other guys, out of the corner of his eye he caught Jared handing the girl a Frisbee. Guess he knew why Jared had been ‘flirting’. It was just an innocent exchange as he returned the disc to her. He turned back to the other guys to find them watching him. “What? Throw the damn football” Jensen groused at them. Catching Chris’s eye he gave him a small smile and shrugged his shoulders, and caught the ball when it was tossed his way.


End file.
